Leopold Fumbleguts' Gives Advice #1

Spending time with Leopold Fumbleguts was always exciting. The man had packed so much into his life that no matter what the subject Leopold would always have an anecdote to fit. That was why he was so popular among the young upper-class of the 1940s. A soiree was never complete without the eccentric presence of "Cousin Leo," as they called him. 

There was a time, I remember him telling me, when the local fire brigade had to be called to his friend's huge country estate Leopold had been invited to one night - all because a young lady had found one of Leopold's tales so hilarious that she set fire to the curtains, burning down half the East Wing. Leopold's friend was so impressed by his wit that immediately he invited Leopold to his next dinner party, to be relocated to the North Wing two weeks hence.

After relating this night to me, along with countless others, I sat back in Leopold's worn leather armchair, took a sip of the 1958 Glen Garioch he had poured for me and asked him how he found it so effortless to entertain and regale others.

"My dear boy," he said, "It's all smoke and mirrors. As soon as the guests are in attendance, you merely slip into the conversation something about a monkey. It doesn't matter what and it doesn't have to be true, just introduce a little monkey into proceedings. Everybody likes monkeys which means, by association, everybody will like you. Monkey, monkey, monkey! It doesn't matter what you say after that, people will have a jolly good time!"

Which I think explains the picture above.

The Beginining...

There's nothing like a blank canvas to bring on an attack of writer's block. The Leopold Fumbleguts Memoirs has been running for some weeks now and I've cleverly avoided writing anything upon it. Leopold must be turning in his grave, bitterly disappointed in his student.

There are some good signs though. Before a word has been written, this blog has three followers - a pretty good start even if they are all close friends of mine.

So what do I see this blog achieving? Many wonderful things. I just don't know what they are yet, though you can be sure of some unwitting self-promotion, for which I apologise in advance. 

Over the years I've written many short stories and noted down observations about our fantastically desperate and desperately fantastic species. During the quiet times some of these will probably appear on my blog to make it look like I'm being productive. Also, as with Wisdom Of Ken, past projects may find their way onto these pages for the critical eye and, perhaps, readers' enjoyment. By past projects I mean some design work I've done, either for commercial purposes or personal, and maybe even the odd photo. 

Whilst your eyes study my visual contributions, perhaps your ears would appreciate some experimental trip-hop by my good friend Milos Pilo. I'll upload some of his tracks if that's possible.

Well, that's it. You may now carry on doing what you were doing, and may you achieve all you set out to do. Do check back soon because I really think I'm about to come out with something good and you wouldn't want to miss it now, would you?